The one moist city most vulnerable to this metamorphosis is the beloved "Big Easy". Once again New Orleanians are at the epicenter of hedonism and hurricanism. The mystical subkrewe Comatose has learned of this danger from the retired local weather guru Nash Roberts...well in advance of other citizenry.

Comatose has remained strictly OFF THE RECORD during their preparations for a possible Mardi Gras Maelstrom.

Theories abound as to why the storm season has lengthened:

1. Excessive media coverage of every tiny weather system has created a "blowhard, windbag" effect that now generates the rare EL NINYO LOCO.
2. Technological advances spearheaded by pornography have steered giant blowing and sucking winds straight up the Mississippi River Gulf Outlet.
3. Ever more gigantic cruise ships interfacing with monstrous overhead power lines have created a hyperkinetic electromagnetic hurricanic dissonance field.
4. Home Depot executives and plywood manufacturers have been seeding the stratosphere during alleged "experiments" from the space shuttle Endeavour....clandestinely creating more hurricanes.
5. Pat O'Briens green satellite television dish is actually beaming molecules of rum into Louisiana's skies that combine with swamp gas to foment typhoonisms

Confusion and chaos, first cousins to Comatose, still permeate the ranks of this motley subkrewe. Most male krewe members heard a call to EJACULATE! instead of evacuate and prepared to fornicate with a large woman!

While Mayor Nagin fiddles and New Orleans floods, the once brave and fatalistic KREWE OF COMATOSE has been scared shitless. We have built a commodesque float so we can EVACUATE! DA BIG ONE IS COMIN'

BRAHMA created this incredible COMA SUTRA INDIA PALE ALE.
VISHNU preserved it for this 3rd annual KdV BREW DOO
SHIVE, the Destroyer will be attempting to get you to wreck your car and you as you drive home tonight after ingesting the mystical duo of brewes from the KREWE OF COMATOSE!

Tonight you experience India and the Hindu way as never before. Your THIRD EYE will be opened, your sexual pathways cleared, and a tidal wave of sensuality will ensue.

The BOMBAY BERRY RED ALE is designed to alter reality. Sitar music, incense, and a look through our MAGIC EYEGLASSES will be push into this pure state of harmony.

You are then ready for the COMA SUTRA EXPERIENCE. Sip this aphrodisiac and feel your YONI or your LINGAM tingle with excitement. Reach into the LOTUS BLOSSOM to then discover your sexual fortune as foretold by Ganesha, first born son of Shiva.